Merry Christmas

you bitches. I did my shopping weeks ago so I don't have to worry about it. Hope Santa brings you lube when he buttraeps you for being VERY naughty.

Jacking this thread because I forgot to make one.

'Twas the night before Caturday,
Closed were the pools.
Vids of St. Rickrollus
Were posted by trolls.

I, in my Guy Fawkes mask,
Her, licking my sack,
Had decided to hate people
Of skin coloured black.

I heard a loud CRASH
And put down my liquor.
Was our home being robbed...?
...by a n1gger?

I threw open the door
And who should I see
But Raptor Jesus
Eating a baby!

THE Raptor Jesus!
The Almighty Reptile
Was clutching an uzi
And looking hostile.

I couldn't believe it!
I fell to my knees.
He undid his pants and said,
"Bitch, suck on THESE."

Within moments,
His sacred love juice came a-gushing.
But it was not gay,
For our balls were not touching.

"Where is your god now?"
He said with a grin,
Holy dino-spooge
Dripping from my chin.

"I don't GIVE gifts,"
He explained to me,
"I offer a system of barter,
you see."

He did up His pants
And pulled out a bag
Full of win, torrents,
And hentai mags!

Pedobear plushies!
Codes that trip!
/d/elicious caek!
Handmade mudkips!

He gave me my presents:
A bottle of lube
and a Weighted
Companion Cube.

"Your girlfriend," He asked,
"Is she hot?"
When she appeared in the doorway,
He yelled, "JACKPOT!"

He stretched out her vag,
Once tight and narrow,
In exchange for copypasta,
With oregano.

We smiled and waved
As He went on his way
Knowing that, in nine months,
My girlfriend would pay.

As he ventures through the night,
Raptor Jesus sings:
"This is why
We can't have nice things!"

And that is my story.
I hope it's not lame.
I regret to inform you
That you lost the Game.

Also,

My brethen and I once let this play for at least 4 hours, it's mesmerizing !